Dear Diabetes,
Although we have gotten to know each other fairly well over the past year, I just realized that even you, do not know the story of how you came to my life and I think it is important you know that. After all, you get to know people through their stories. Is it possible that after reading my story you are gentler with me? Maybe…So here it is:
At the end of May 2017 I started feeling very tired and low energy. I could not walk more than few minutes, I was sleepy all the time and felt this heaviness all throughout the day. It was unusual but on those days I had back to back international trips and it just seemed normal to be exhausted due to that. The truth is that I did not think about it much and assumed it will go away.
As days went by, I also started getting really thirsty. My mouth was extremely dry and no amount of liquid would quench my thirst. With that, I noticed that this should not be normal but still found reasons to justify it as it was month of June in Dubai and it was too hot etc…
On June 6th, 2017 I had a business meeting in the morning. On the way to the meeting I felt my vision suddenly got blurry. I could still see but it wasn’t quite clear. It was blurry one minute and sharp and perfect the other minute.
I went to my meeting and actually discussed this with the person I was meeting and he brought up the subject of wearing glasses and laser surgery and advancement in the science which took off my attention from what had happened on the way.
I finished the meeting, sat in my car and my vision started to go blurry again to the extent that I could not see in front of me. I realized I could not drive.
I parked my car and sat there. After just a minute my vision got clear again. Instead of driving I decided: Let me ask my good friend Google.
I opened the browser and typed in the search box: My vision is blurry, I drink a lot of water and I feel very tired; I clicked the search button.
Everything that appeared on the Google search results started with one word: Diabetes!
Human mind re-acts in all kind of different ways when it comes to bad news…Mine just wanted to deny. So I decided the first page results of Google are nonsense and went on to look on page 2 and 3 and then 4…All with the same result.
Was Google stuck? Why every search result looked just the same? Was Google reliable at all and why on earth would I go to Google for something related to my health? Suddenly Google was not my friend anymore but it sure triggered something in me.
I called my endocrinologist whom I have been going to for my Thyroid condition for sometimes.
On the call I explained to him the same of what I had told Google. His answer: Come to my clinic right now! HUH?
With my vision half blurry and half clear -something like twilight zone-, I drove to the clinic.
The doctor immediately took me in and asked the nurse to test my blood sugar. That is my first encounter with this lovely device that you see in the photo AKA Blood Glucose Meter.
The meter showed 250…the doctor’s energy changed… What was going on? Obviously the number was not good. What is this number? What is the normal number? What are all these?
All these thoughts were flying in my head and little by little I felt weakness in my knees. The feeling of fear, anxiety and facing the unknown came over me.
The doctor said your blood sugar is very high and there is a chance you might have diabetes. Just like Google!
He ran a blood test and asked me to immediately go on a no sugar diet till we get the test results which might take upto 2 to 3 weeks.
He said he was running a GAD Antibody test for me. What test? Well you know doctors not always have the patience to answer all questions. So despite our shady relationship, I had to go back and ask Google: what is GAD test ? I got this answer through diabetes.co.uk:
“A GAD test is a blood test which measures whether the body is producing a type of antibody which destroys its own GAD cells. In type 1 diabetes, a number of autoantibodies are thought to circulate including those which target glutamic acid decarboxylase.”
I remembered that the Dr. also mentioned something about type 1 diabetes and type 2 and something for kids and something for adults but at that moment he was talking, it all sounded Chinese and only later I learned what it all meant.
Sitting in that Doctor’s office, I was lost in space and time and could hardly hear all the words. There is this place inside me however that always feels and knows. It is my intuition. On that day my intuition told me the test results will be positive for diabetes and this is not going to be good…
I sat in the car and while crying, I called my husband and my best friend and told them what has happened.
I got home and started the “no sugar diet”.
To be continued…..
