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June 2018

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My story (part 3)

Dear diabetes you might want about the day I got the test results.

…I thought the past 2 weeks of strict diet had prepared me for this. I was wrong. With all my strong intuition, I wished that I’d go to doctor and hear that test results are negative and there is no diabetes in my body.

Going through the strict diet, I was telling myself (actually promising myself) that I will continue this diet and lead a healthy life and never ever take my diet and my health for granted again.

I imagined I get away with this and this would be my turning point and the wake up call.

Universe had something else in store for me it seems.

The test said that I have type 1 Latent Autoimmune Diabetes for Adults also known as LADA.

My doctor mentioned since I have well managed my diet in the past 2 weeks and my blood sugar is in the range of 120s, I can continue on the pills and no need for insulin. A bit of a hope, but the whole thing was so traumatic that I could hardly see a ray of light in all this.

The he continued saying if I “manage” the diabetes well, I can live a long life like anyone else and there is no need to worry. He then gave me the stats of people having diabetes around the world and told me this is one of the most common conditions – I refuse to call it a disease!- and it is not a very big deal.

Before I start on this subject I must say that I know all doctors are not the same and I am not trying to generalize here. Yet I have seen this experience being repeated by good number of doctors around the world and so I am addressing it.

Are doctors aware of the impact of what they say on their patients?

Do these doctors even see the human side of their business? Does the repetition take away their empathy? Or is it that science and facts and figures makes them forget that a human being is sitting in front of them and not a robot.

I have to say that I am a coach. People talk to me about their pain every day and it never gets old and I never loose my sense of caring in non-attached way.

I know one of my good coach friends has developed a program to help the medical doctors develop this capability. Doctors break bad news to their patient day in and day out. They must now how to handle people’s emotions and how to honor them without being attached.

So I am sitting in my doctor’s clinic once again and have my eyes full of tears and before I know it, the session comes to an end. I go out, pay for the visit and take my car and drive home. But this is not me driving, this is my ghost driving home. I am so glad I made it home safely. Later I thought I should’ve called someone to come and pick me up, but it didn’t even occur to me because I always do everything myself and I am not even used to asking for help in cases like this.

I arrive home to face the reality: Me who always talks about choices, was left with no choice but to start a new life and all I could think of was that I have to continue the diet …for the rest of my life. Of course there is more to it but this is what went on my mind at that moment. So wait, how is that even possible? How could one live without sugar and carb till end of life? How can I live with this huge deprivation till end of my life? What am I going to eat?

On those days I used the word deprivation quite a lot and . I also used many other words and phrases such as “why me?” .As I progressed, I learned that everything I say and every word I use makes a difference. So I am more conscious now.

 

To be continued…

June 26, 2018 by
coaching, Diabetes, Diabetes Coaching, Health, LADA, Lifestyle change, Wellness

My story (part 2)

 

Dear Diabetes:

 

You are so sweet that with you in my life, there is no room for any other SUGAR! You seem to be very territorial and not letting any other sugar hangout anywhere near me!

I mean seriously NO sugar at all….

Do you know what it means to go on a NO sugar diet? Do you know almost everything we eat either has sugar in it or it will turn into sugar after we eat it?

Going on no sugar diet for me meant to stop eating 95% of what I have been eating all my life. All the sweets, all the sugar in my morning tea, all the carbs, all the sauces and even fruits and…yes even some of the vegetables. It meant headaches and shaking body and extreme low mood and of course lots of crying.

I have a hazy memory of the 2 weeks period before I received test results and in which I started this diet.

Going off sugar was not hard, it was painful. I had decided I cannot do it gradually so I just cut all sugars at once. Not sure it was the best way to do it, but results were good as my blood sugar went under control and in the range of 120s. (with the help of pills of course).

My body was shocked however. I spent most of my days with very low energy and low mood. It might have been the very first time in my life that I had low level of motivation to get off the bed in the morning. It was a lonely time. Did not know who to share this with and what to say. My best companion was my dear friend Google once again and reading through all the information available online. Some horror stories and many stories of hope and long life with diabetes.

I also started noticing that sugar is everywhere and in everything we eat. In some food it is obvious and in many it is hidden. I also started learning that carb is not direct sugar but turns into sugar when we eat it. What ???

I was introduced to “Glycemic index” which means how much and how fast a particular food increases the blood sugar.

I was never a big fan of counting calories and paying attention to what each food does to the body. I thought food should be enjoyed and these things are for fussy people…OH dear….little did I know.

I was noticing how poorly educated I was around the topic of health and eating well. So I realized this new found passion in me but it came to life slowly.

 

Two weeks passed and I went to doctor to get the test results.

The test results were positive of course as I had felt it. It was LADA and it was for real.

 

To be continued….

June 19, 2018 by
coaching, Diabetes, Diabetes Coaching, Health, LADA, Lifestyle change, Wellness, Wellness Coaching

My story (part 1)

 

Dear Diabetes,

Although we have gotten to know each other fairly well over the past year, I just realized that even you, do not know the story of how you came to my life and I think it is important you know that. After all, you get to know people through their stories. Is it possible that after reading my story you are gentler with me? Maybe…So here it is:

At the end of May 2017 I started feeling very tired and low energy. I could not walk more than few minutes, I was sleepy all the time and felt this heaviness all throughout the day. It was unusual but on those days I had back to back international trips and it just seemed normal to be exhausted due to that. The truth is that I did not think about it much and assumed it will go away.

As days went by, I also started getting really thirsty. My mouth was extremely dry and no amount of liquid would quench my thirst. With that, I noticed that this should not be normal but still found reasons to justify it as it was month of June in Dubai and it was too hot etc…

On June 6th, 2017 I had a business meeting in the morning. On the way to the meeting I felt my vision suddenly got blurry. I could still see but it wasn’t quite clear. It was blurry one minute and sharp and perfect the other minute.

I went to my meeting and actually discussed this with the person I was meeting and he brought up the subject of wearing glasses and laser surgery and advancement in the science which took off my attention from what had happened on the way.

I finished the meeting, sat in my car and my vision started to go blurry again to the extent that I could not see in front of me. I realized I could not drive.

I parked my car and sat there. After just a minute my vision got clear again. Instead of driving I decided: Let me ask my good friend Google.

I opened the browser and typed in the search box: My vision is blurry, I drink a lot of water and I feel very tired; I clicked the search button.

 

Everything that appeared on the Google search results started with one word: Diabetes!

 

Human mind re-acts in all kind of different ways when it comes to bad news…Mine just wanted to deny. So I decided the first page results of Google are nonsense and went on to look on page 2 and 3 and then 4…All with the same result.

Was Google stuck? Why every search result looked just the same? Was Google reliable at all and why on earth would I go to Google for something related to my health? Suddenly Google was not my friend anymore but it sure triggered something in me.

I called my endocrinologist whom I have been going to for my Thyroid condition for sometimes.

On the call I explained to him the same of what I had told Google. His answer: Come to my clinic right now! HUH?

With my vision half blurry and half clear -something like twilight zone-, I drove to the clinic.

The doctor immediately took me in and asked the nurse to test my blood sugar. That is my first encounter with this lovely device that you see in the photo AKA Blood Glucose Meter.

The meter showed 250…the doctor’s energy changed… What was going on? Obviously the number was not good. What is this number? What is the normal number? What are all these?

All these thoughts were flying in my head and little by little I felt weakness in my knees. The feeling of fear, anxiety and facing the unknown came over me.

The doctor said your blood sugar is very high and there is a chance you might have diabetes. Just like Google!

He ran a blood test and asked me to immediately go on a no sugar diet till we get the test results which might take upto 2 to 3 weeks.

He said he was running a GAD Antibody test for me. What test? Well you know doctors not always have the patience to answer all questions. So despite our shady relationship, I had to go back and ask Google: what is GAD test ? I got this answer through diabetes.co.uk:

“A GAD test is a blood test which measures whether the body is producing a type of antibody which destroys its own GAD cells. In type 1 diabetes, a number of autoantibodies are thought to circulate including those which target glutamic acid decarboxylase.”

I remembered that the Dr. also mentioned something about type 1 diabetes and type 2 and something for kids and something for adults but at that moment he was talking, it all sounded Chinese and only later I learned what it all meant.

Sitting in that Doctor’s office, I was lost in space and time and could hardly hear all the words. There is this place inside me however that always feels and knows. It is my intuition. On that day my intuition told me the test results will be positive for diabetes and this is not going to be good…

I sat in the car and while crying, I called my husband and my best friend and told them what has happened.

I got home and started the “no sugar diet”.

 

To be continued…..

June 12, 2018 by
Diabetes, Diabetes Coaching, Health, LADA, Lifestyle change, Wellness, Wellness Coaching

Dear Diabetes, Happy 1st anniversary…

 

Dear Diabetes,

 

Today marks our first anniversary. The day we met.

You entered my life by blurring my eyes…kind of like how love makes people blind!

I did not know you then.

I did not know anything about what you can do and how one can live with you. Above all, I did not know my own powers.
You brought to light all my inner strength; inner light and the beauty I never knew existed in me. You changed every belief I had about myself and you helped give birth to a “new me” that today I am grateful for.

Happy anniversary dear Diabetes and remember, I might have you in my life, but YOU DO NOT HAVE ME.

When you showed up, I had no idea there is type 1 and 2 and I definitely had NO idea that there is another type being referred to as LADA.  No, LADA is not a new flavour of café Latte offered in coffee shop near you. LADA stands for Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults. So as the name explains, it is the type that comes to in late adulthood somewhere around the age of 30 and above. It is also referred to Diabetes type 1.5, as it has the characteristics of both type 1 and type 2. LADA is what I am living with since last year.

Believe it or not, today is a big mile stone for me because all these great stuff did not come easy. The past year has been a fairly lonely journey of painful moments, which led me, see the light.

Managing Diabetes day in and day out is TOUGH. Trying to find a place of balance between diabetes and living life, takes effort and hardship.

It was like I was handed a new job I didn’t volunteer to do. This job is round the clock and has no vacations and you can’t even quit.

It brings limitations to the way of living life and it can feel alone although we know there are other people out there living with it.

I started this blog because today after one year of living with LADA, I have finally managed to accept it and I have found ways to engage with it without being overwhelmed by it.

This is my first post. In the next posts I will tell my story of how it all started and about my journey. My intention is to share all I have learned about the life style change and how I did it. I believe this information can be helpful to others whether they are living with Diabetes or not.

 

June 6, 2018 by